I Dream of News Days Like This

There are some days when I click refresh 20 times on a multitude of news sources and, still, absolutely nothing piques my interest. I mean, this great world cannot be that boring.  Today is not one of those days. In fact, it is quite the opposite.  So many fabulous and wildly entertaining stories have come across my computer screen today that I’m having trouble choosing what is important to share!  Let’s take a look:

1. A “Lost Pigeon” named Dennis is flying aimlessly around Brooklyn. The AWL released this “Lost Pigeon” pictorial gem this morning and though I’m 88 percent sure it is a joke, it really makes me smile. Check the park perhaps? Or maybe Dennis is halfway to St. Mark’s Square in Venice right about now. I. Hate. Birds.

2. A Yankee’s fan learns the value of hands-free cell phones the hard way—foul ball to the face!

3. The flagship Hollister store in SoHo (remember the one with half-naked boys out front?) has bed bugs!  I think can only think of a few harsher punishments for one’s enemies than a bedbug curse, but given my genuine distaste for Hollister’s hiring practices, clothing and ability to attract annoying tourists that block the busy sidewalk this bit of news is somewhat of a gratifying retribution. The store will be closed for a couple days but we all know those pesky bedbugs are enduring little devils and could require multiple fumigations!  You won’t see me shopping at any stores around Broadway and Houston anytime soon.

4. Where is Samuel L. Jackson when you need him? There were MAGGOTS on a U.S. Airways flight that started dropping out of an overhead bin as the plane was taxing to the runway. A state of slight hysteria developed ensued, understandably, and passengers were brought back to the gate.  Apparently a passenger brought spoiled meat on board, which means security lines will now be three times longer for holiday weekend travel. (Sorry kids, no hot dogs or explosives may be carried on.) This also brings me to the quote of the day:

“I felt like they were crawling all over me because it only takes one maggot to upset your world. And as they’re telling us to stay calm and seated, I see a maggot looking back at me and I’m thinking, ‘These are anaerobic, flesh-eating larvae that the flight attendants don’t have to sit with.'” -passenger Donna Adamo


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